this wall

so you see, i had this wall around me. to protect me from those who hurt me and whatnot. my insecurites got the best of me & i had such a difficult time TRUSTING & LOVING people. i was so.. HEARTLESS. but at the retreat, i felt like that wall i've built so high & strong has been BROUGHT DOWN. i finally learned how to TRUST & LOVE once again. i was a "FREE" person. i found in my heart to FORGIVE those who have hurt me in the past.

but after going back into "REALITY".. a lot of hardships & obstacles have been thrown at me consistently. i'm slowly.. getting back into that whole "DEFENSIVE" mentality i once had. that wall, once again, is slowly being built. i don't know what to do? my insecurities are taking over.

oh God, help me please. i don't want to become that PERSON again.